RESOURCES
BOOKS:
Playing Well With Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Navigating and Exploring the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities by Lee Harrington & Mollena Williams
he Art of Receiving and Giving: The Wheel of Consent by Betty Martin
Unbound by Kasia Urbaniak
Existential Kink by Carolyn Elliott Ph.D.
The Deep Psychology of BDSM and Kink by Douglas Thomas
Sacred Kink by Lee Harrington
The History and Arts of the Dominatrix by Anne O. Nomis
The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy
The Dominatrix Archetypes®: Become a Multidimensional Dominatrix in the Art of BDSM FemDom by Mistress Damiana Chi Ph.D.
Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities and Communities by Richard A. Sprott and David Ortmann
The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play, and the Erotic Edge by Tristan Taormino
Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good by Adrienne Maree Brown
Sensational Flesh: Race, Power, and Masochism by Amber Jamilla Musser
Safe, Sane, and Consensual: Contemporary Perspectives on Sadomasochism by Darren Langdridge and Meg Barker
ARTICLES:
“Consensual BDSM Facilitates Role-Specific Altered States of Consciousness: A Preliminary Study.” (James Ambler, et al. Read in Psychology of Consciousness: Theory, Research, and Practice, 22 Sept. 2016)*
“Dungeon Intimacies: The Poetics of Transsexual Sadomasochism” (Susan Stryker. Read in parallax, vol. 14, no. 1)*
“On Using Dangerous Tools and Toys” (Nicole Guappone for The Rumpus’ (K)ink: Writing While Deviant)* (Yes, I know, it’s my own piece, but you might enjoy?)
“Sex, Power, and the Politics of Identity” (interview with Michel Foucault for The Advocate, 1977. Read in Ethics: Subjectivity and Truth.)*
“The Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power” (Audre Lorde. Read in Sister Outsider.)*
Hello Sweet One,
I’m so glad you’ve found your way here. Kyle is one of my best friends and favorite kink play partners, and I’m so excited about what we’ve whipped up for you!
Finding my way into conscious kink spaces was a turning point for me. I spent a lot of my life managing shame and low self esteem, feeling erotically repressed, and lacking confidence in how to access play, creativity, and lightheartedness in the context of this world we live in.
I used to operate with the motto “live and let live.” I’ll do my thing, you do yours. It was a convenient compartmentalization and, ultimately, a way of avoiding the truth of my own power, and the power we have together when we relate and create from interdependence, rather than separation.
I found that in trying to avoid the reality that we are constantly in an energetic exchange with others, my world and relationships were lacking in the aliveness that comes with embracing polarity. And I felt at the effect of the polarization and unconscious power dynamics that are so often characteristic of modern day society.
It has been delicious to move away from polarization, and towards the gorgeous embodiment of unified polarity that comes from yoking together the aspects that exist within each of us, all the way in to the level of our //positive-negative// molecular bonds: //submissive-dominant//yin-yang//feminine-masculine//receptive-directive//
I feel more at choice and more playful in how I relate.
I feel more accepting of what brings me pleasure.
I feel healthier boundaries and ability to communicate them in a way that nurtures connection.
I feel more confident and am increasingly embracing the power that I have to create, and the willingness to be responsible for my creations, with less shame and avoidance.
One last note on the process: Neural repatterning is supported by states of pleasure and broad enough containers for our whole selves to participate. Wholistic Kink is one such container, and I am grateful that the universe gifted me this pathway to evolve with so much fun, play, and joy.
I am honored and excited to share what has so powerfully supported me, and looking forward to meeting and co-creating with the souls who resonate with this approach.
With Love,
OUR MISSION
At Wholistic Kink, our mission is to create inclusive and play-forward spaces for people to explore and express their wholeness through conscious kink, BDSM, and intimacy practices. We are lit up by facilitating joyful and embodied transformation through guided experiences, education, and community containers. This is a weird world we live in. We’re excited to share the ways that Wholistic Kink enables us to enjoy the full spectrum of our experience.
Our Values
Wholistic Wellness: We believe in a fun, embodied, and deep yet lighthearted approach to well-being that includes physical, emotional, mental, sexual, and spiritual expression. We integrate kink and BDSM practices with mindfulness, self-care, and personal growth.
Play: We encourage the cultivation of radical self expression through invitations to be curious, experiment, and learn about self and others through the exploration of dynamics that include conscious power exchange, erotic embodiment, fantasy, and somatic/sensual practices.
Consent and Boundaries: We prioritize enthusiastic, informed, and ongoing consent as the cornerstone of all our activities. We respect and honor each individual's boundaries.
Education and Awareness: We provide resources, workshops, and discussions to promote understanding, knowledge, and responsible engagement in kink and BDSM practices. We love learning that embraces the silly, the sexy, and the sacred!
Inclusivity and Diversity: We welcome people of all genders, races, sexual orientations, abilities, backgrounds, kink orientations, and experience levels. We actively strive to create an environment that is diverse, welcoming, equitable, and celebratory of our collective human oddities and culturally fringe proclivities!
Community and Support: We aim to build a strong, supportive community where individuals can connect, share, and learn from each other. We provide a network of wholistic kink practitioners who offer educational and experiential services with warmth, humor and presence. We also nurture a peer community of like-minded individuals who can offer camaraderie, inspiration, and collaboration.
Safety and Well-being: We are committed to the physical and emotional safety of all participants. We provide information and resources for safe play and emotional well-being. We encourage responsible, risk-aware exploration.
Personal Growth and Empowerment: We believe in the transformative potential of conscious kink and BDSM practices to promote personal growth, self-discovery, and empowerment. We love the way that conscious kink brings us into contact with an increasingly expanded perspective of how to have fun and embrace our full spectrum selves (and the roles we like to play) in this cosmic, kinky, human theater.
Integration: We believe in prioritizing integration that supports individuals and communities to move toward wholeness. We use intentional practices that serve the embodiment of what is learned in kink containers, so that it can be accessed in day to day living. Essentially, we want your power, your weirdness, your erotically embodied self out in the world bring magic, play and joy to the masses.
Ethical Practice: We uphold ethical standards in all our activities, ensuring that consent violations, abuse, and unethical behavior have no place within our collective. We encourage, consider, and integrate feedback as to how we can continue to improve in this, and all areas.
Our highest desire for Wholistic Kink is to invest in the world we want to live in, by walking the talk, slapping the ass, and letting ourselves get off on what we get off on. We’re excited about creating a scene where individuals can explore their desires, boundaries, relationships, and identities in service to self-acceptance, authentic connections, and a sense of belonging. We get off on the thought of living in a world where we can be ourselves, laugh our asses off, and reclaim our birthright to pleasure, without marginalizing any aspects of ourselves into shame or isolation. It seems that the Creator is kinky AF, and we aim to be congruent with the heart of who we might discover ourselves to be in this Creation, if we were truly honest about how we are and what we want.
